UK Keratoconus Self-Help and Support Association

I couldn't pronounce broderie anglaise so would say anglaise blonglaise instead.

I thought that rain was god crying

My dad told me he worked in a banana bending factory! I believed this for ages, until the day the teacher at primary school asked everyone in the class what thier parents jobs were and i told the whole class
Just spent the weekend with my family in Devon and they are still talking about it.

Anne that is so funny My dad sent me to a neighbours house for a long stand
I didnt learn and later fell for the tartan paint prank as well!

Oh Anne, that reminds me of a childhood trauma.

I must have only just started school, and at the time my dad was working as a physist, when I'd previously asked him what that was, he told me it was putting the bubbles into bottles of pop (fizzy-sist, ha very ha)

Anyway one day the teacher asked us what our fathers did and I proudly said 'he works in a lemonade factory'

With this the evil teacher dragged me to the front of the class and smacked me for being a liar saying she knew he worked at Liverpool University.

Imagine that happening today - it would be in all the papers.

Chris xx

my mom told me i didnt have a middle name cos she couldnt afford 2 names for me.
so when i had my first son i went to have him registered.
they asked me if he was gonna have a second name, so i asked how much it was per name.
she looked at me like i was nuts. i was 19 by then lol

and the elbow grease from the shop one.
bless her

when I was young, i found out (or thought i did) about umbilical cord cutting on babies. I perceived that they tied a rope in two sections on the cord and then cut the cord in between the two pieces of rope. They then left the rope on the babies end of the cord tied on for the rest of your life to hold your innards inside you. So when i was told that i had to remove my "belly lint/fluff" i was always afraid of the 'rope' on my umbilical cord coming undone if I was too vigorous in the process and all my innards spilling out.

We decided when our daughter was born that we would never tell her a lie. This meant that when Christmas came round we would not become involved in the Santa Clause nonsense. From her earliest moments of awareness she knew that I filled her stocking with Christmas presents each year.

In time her brother came along, and the same policy applied. No lies. They both went to bed on Christmas eve knowing that before they awoke I would have been into their respective rooms and put little presents into the old socks that they hung at the foot of their beds. Meantime their mother would be putting their larger presents at the foot of our Christmas Tree.

It was years later before we discovered that our "truth" had been misunderstood and that they had substituted their own lie. They went to bed each Christmas eve firmly believing that I would have to fly round the world and put presents into the stockings of every child before returning home for Christmas morning.

__ __ __

I can remember a a little boy confusing "Germs" with "Germans", and being entirely persuaded that citizens of Germany would make me ill if I did not wash my hands.

Andrew