Bad eye day
Posted: Thu 07 Jan 2010 1:38 am
I just needed to say this, you know how it is sometimes, you've been through it before but it doesn't change the feelings and you just need to say it.
I had another 'bad eye day' the other day, the RGP went in on the edge and must have dug a bit of an abrasion. Seemed ok so after 5 mins I inserted again and it did that freaky under the eyelid to the outer edge number. Last time this happened I had to run across the road to the GP to get it out with the suction remover because I just couldn't get it out. I totally panicked and had the screaming abdabs [god knows what the neighbours think] but after putting in masses of hypromellose and methinks more luck than judgement it came out. It's so hard to see at the outer edge whereas under the lower lid or near the nose corner of the eye it can be more easily seen and removed. The eye hurt during night, then the following day when I put it in it was excruciating on insertion. Then wear time was down for a couple of days. I find it really difficult when that happens because my anxiety gets the better of me and triggers my voices who in turn then taunt me that it's the start of lens intolerance or graft failure and I can't rationlise it when it's happening, I just spiral, it's like a set of domino's going down. Yes I recover and I'm feeling much better today but I wish I didn't get so distressed with it. I think the panic is also about my fear of not being able to use the lens for longer than a day because I feel a prisoner if I can't, no reading/computer etc, and I hate being out. I feel half human without it.
I had another 'bad eye day' the other day, the RGP went in on the edge and must have dug a bit of an abrasion. Seemed ok so after 5 mins I inserted again and it did that freaky under the eyelid to the outer edge number. Last time this happened I had to run across the road to the GP to get it out with the suction remover because I just couldn't get it out. I totally panicked and had the screaming abdabs [god knows what the neighbours think] but after putting in masses of hypromellose and methinks more luck than judgement it came out. It's so hard to see at the outer edge whereas under the lower lid or near the nose corner of the eye it can be more easily seen and removed. The eye hurt during night, then the following day when I put it in it was excruciating on insertion. Then wear time was down for a couple of days. I find it really difficult when that happens because my anxiety gets the better of me and triggers my voices who in turn then taunt me that it's the start of lens intolerance or graft failure and I can't rationlise it when it's happening, I just spiral, it's like a set of domino's going down. Yes I recover and I'm feeling much better today but I wish I didn't get so distressed with it. I think the panic is also about my fear of not being able to use the lens for longer than a day because I feel a prisoner if I can't, no reading/computer etc, and I hate being out. I feel half human without it.
x